So last week, I was driving to school thinking about the guy that I was going dancing with that Friday. I caught myself thinking I don’t need a fancy wedding, I just wanna move on to the family part. I then slammed on my brakes. Not literally (good thing since I was in traffic) but figuratively. I have always wanted a fancy wedding! And I started berating myself for wanting to skip to the end. After all when I get to the end, what then? What happened to the journey? Why can I not enjoy what I have now, what is going on in my life at this moment? I then made myself promise to start enjoying the days more. Stop thinking about what could be, just enjoy what is going on around you. Stop sleeping through the day and notice the little things going on around you. Do you ever find yourself forgetting to enjoy life, just focusing on what could be? How do you snap out of that?
I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted. The combination of school and work are getting to me. I just don’t have the energy to keep up with everything. But I must. I had two tests this week and I think I did okay on both. We’ll see. I finally got some of my living room painted. I did two of the walls on Sunday before I had to stop and get the curtains up before it got dark (or as quickly as I could since it was already getting dark). I actually got one of the windows in the living room open, I was so thrilled! Then when I tried to close it, it didn’t want to so I called my parents to get ideas. Turns out all it needed was a little love from a rubber mallet =) I’m not sure I want to try to open it again – maybe if I can oil it? Can you oil wood windows? How do you get old (early 1900′s) wood frame windows to open and close [smoothly]? Any how, I’m pretty excited that my living room is actually semi-homey now. I’ll finish painting it (and my dining room and kitchen) this weekend. Okay, enough playing for now. Back to studying =( Hope all y’all are having a better week than me!
Thursday brings the official start to Fall. I absolutely love the Fall, it is without a doubt my favorite season. I love the warm, rich browns, reds, and yellows. I love fires in the fireplace and bundling up in blankets. I love rich, hot cocoa, a fresh-pressed apple cider, or a sweet, cinnamony hot-buttered rum (I will share my favorite recipe for this with you at a later date). I also love the holidays that occur during this season. I think Halloween is my favorite since I’ve always enjoyed dressing up, getting candy, and hearing stories on the paranormal even though when I’m scared my eyes tear up and I cry even if it’s not a truly scary story (it’s weird, I know). I love how fresh and crisp the air is and that it’s just the right temperature most days.
Fall is also one of the worst seasons for me. The days get short and the nights get long, too long, and too dark for me. I dread the coming cold (and I know it isn’t really cold where I live, heck it doesn’t even usually snow, but it’s colder that I like to deal with). Most of all though, it reminds me that I am alone. It reminds me that my family is 1,300 some odd miles away. That I don’t have a significant other to curl up with… Or a family of my own to visit a pumpkin patch and pick out a pumpkin and carve it with them… Or to cook a Thanksgiving dinner for (although I’m sure my puppies would be more than thrilled if I shared it with them). I have friends out here but many of them have their own family happenings or go back to their parents’ homes and I celebrate my holidays by myself.
I don’t come from a large family. Just my parents, my little sister, and I in our immediate family. My father was never close to his side of the family – his father and step-father both died before I was born, his mother lived in Florida and in her final years moved closer - to Washington. The brother he did get along with lived in Kentucky and died from AIDS when I was in high school. The brother he doesn’t get along with lived in Washington and I’ve only met him once, during the summer after I graduated high school . During the holidays, Grandma Hazel (father’s mother) was the only one to come visit and that was rare, maybe once every three years. On my mother’s side, her mom and dad, sister and brother all got along and lived about two hours away when I was young. They would come out for Thanksgiving and Christmas and my father would complain (the whole in-laws thing that is so often complained about…), but I always loved it. I wished there were more of us, like cousins (especially closer to my sister and mine’s age) or that my father’s side would come and stay with us for a bit. Unfortunately as my sister and I got older, my father’s mother was less able to travel (and passed away 3 years ago January) and my mother’s parents moved to Oregon and are also less able to travel. My mother’s brother was killed when my sister and I were in elementary school and her sister moved to Central California, then Oregon and now my mom’s family celebrates up there. That leaves my immediate family to celebrate now with me usually being gone for Thanksgiving.
I hope that one day I will have a family of my own that I can celebrate with. That my parents and sister will live close enough to come out for the holidays and that my husband’s family will too. And maybe if my kids have kids that they will all stay close enough to be home during this season. I know it’s wishful thinking especially in this day and age, but that’s what I’m wishing for. Until then, I will continue to beg friends to come celebrate with me, carve my own pumpkin, and cook ridiculous amounts of food for myself. I still love the fall though.
I currently rent a house (which I lovingly call “Hell House”) and it’s seen better days. It’s a cute early 1900′s Arts & Crafts (Craftsman) style house with a nice porch and beautiful wood inside. It was in the town I wanted, the rent was right, and the land lord said I could paint it and fix it up and deduct the expense from my rent which caused me to jump with joy! After all, that was what I was looking for since I love to decorate and landscape. Turns out having a house to take care of is much more work than I thought.
Before I moved in, there was a family living in hell house. How do I know this? There is crayon, pencil, bits of tacked (and stapled) up posters, and some stuff that I don’t even want to know all over the walls in every room. They also had a dog or cat. I know this because the day before I was supposed to move my belongings in, I got the key and went to take a look at the house again and had fleas cover my feet and calves in a matter of seconds. Let me tell you, I have never, NEVER lived anywhere that has had fleas and this freaked me out! I was hysterical. All I could think was that I can’t bring my dogs into this place! I ended up across the street at the grocery store and bought all sorts of flea bombs, powders, sprays, and drops and nearly blew up the house. I also rented a rug doctor and did all the carpets (which is another story). A week after using all the above products, I went to the local feed store to purchase some Diatimaceous Earth since locals kept telling my this was the best way to get rid of “creatures”. If you don’t know anything about DE a great website for information is: http://wolfcreekranch1.tripod.com/defaq.html. I really do believe using this has helped control the insect situation in my house (fleas, cockroaches, other random insects). The fleas are now gone although I still wig out everytime I scratch an itch and worry when my dogs scratch.
The walls are another story. I have mopped, yes mopped, with bleach and dawn dish soap mixed together, all of the walls in the house. I feel better about them but they still have lots of markings. They used to have lots of holes also, but I’ve gone through a few small tubs of spackle fixing those up. Most of the rooms are (in theory) ready to primer and paint but, me being me, decided I want to caulk every last inch of hell house in an attempt to keep creatures out. This is where I got stuck. I’ve caulked the kitchen. That’s it. I have three tubes of caulk sitting at home waiting for me to finish. I have paint colors picked out waiting to be put on the walls. So this is my project. I will finish caulking the house this weekend. And weed wack the front and back yards. And rake. And sweep and mop. I’m going to need a longer weekend.